Beshalach, so many miracles to celebrate!

Again, we did numerous parasha projects. I recommend replicating some more than others. I'll start with the craft and move to the food.

The sea splits and the Jewish people walk through on dry land! What could be more exciting?!? I have acted this out in many ways, with many groups, like this  or this or this.  Usually I think 'go big or go home' but this time, I decided to go small. 

I found these cute templates at artistshelpingchildren.org to make everyone involved in the story. 

The girls got to work coloring and cutting. 

 And assembling

We mixed flour, water, and blue food coloring, and loaded them into a large ziplock bag.

Then they out on a show. Cohava filmed and did two takes. Which do you prefer?

On Monday we had a huge snowstorm! It was very exciting for everyone. 

"You know the maan [manna] was like snow," Cohava remarked.
"How so?"
"Well, it was white and fell from the ground and was edible," she reasoned.
We decided to take snow and add the flavors of maan,

31The house of Israel named it manna, and it was like coriander seed, [it was] white, and it tasted like a wafer with honey.

לאוַיִּקְרְאוּ בֵית יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶת שְׁמוֹ מָן וְהוּא כְּזֶרַע גַּד לָבָן וְטַעְמוֹ כְּצַפִּיחִת בִּדְבָשׁ:

 Snow

 And honey

 and waffles

Met with mixed reviews

Before Cohava recommended snow maan, it was my plan to make Rice Krispy treats. The cereal looks remotely like coriander seeds.

Cohava excitedly started cooking.

But someone knocked the cereal box on the floor. I felt this was delightfully authentic to the collecting from the ground and recommended they do it.

I was only joking!

 Thankfully, we had another box, albeit patriotic, of cereal.

  

At school I made 'maan' cookies. The lesson was meant to be, "Wow manna was such a miracle from Hashem!" "Wait all food is a great miracle from Hashem!" Not sure how well they got it. But they ALL remembered that 1) we made maan cookies last year 2) I accidentally put in a tablespoon of salt, instead of a teaspoon. The moral for me is that experiential learning (especially edible) really sticks with a person!

Shemini- behavior in synagogue!

Parashat Shemini is chocked full of interesting and relevant material, especially when compared to the last few weeks. The construction of the Mishkan is finished! There is a big and exciting inauguration ceremony! 


And then something goes horribly wrong. Nadav and Avihu, the two oldest sons of Aharon, bring a strange sacrifice, a korban which Hashem did not request. A fire came from before Hashem and consumed the two men. What transpired in this moment is discussed extensively by the commentators, but I wanted to discuss it with my girls and get their insights.

"I am going to tell you something that is scary and sad, but I want you to listen carefully, ok? I began.
"I already know about it," Gabi quickly interrupted. "A helicopter crashed into the Space Needle and two people died."
I clarified that it was sad and scary, but that I was going to talk about something from the parasha. The girls' listened attentively to the story. Gabi wanted to know lots about their fire. 
I redirected. "Could it happen today?"
"Nope. We don't have the Mishkan or Beit Hamikdash anymore," Cohava explained.

"True. What do we have instead?"
"Beit Kenneset [synagogue], but its ok, because we don't bring fire or sacrifices anymore, so we can't do the fire wrong. And there is no Kohen Gadol, like Aharon," Gabi elucidated further.
"What do we have instead of those things?"
"We do tefillah [prayer] and we have a rabbi, our Abba, in charge instead of the Kohen," Cohava said.
"So fire from Hashem making Aharon's sons die, wouldn't happen today. But are there things you can and cannot do in shul, like in the Mishkan?"
"We have to be quiet, and not run!"
"And keep our shoes on!"
"Not yell!"
"Not interrupt people when they are davening!"
"Especially not interrupting Abba."
"What happens if you do those things?" I asked, impressed with their quick answers.  
"We don't die!" Gabi replied worriedly. Of course not. She knows it because all of those forbidden activities have happened with little consequence.
"True, so we don't have to be too worried about being punished for doing the wrong thing. What should we do in synagogue, what is the right thing?" Ironically, this time they struggled more with answers. 
We discussed sitting nicely, attempting to pray, follow along in the book, or to think about Hashem and what makes you love Him. 

To me the parallels between the Nadav and Avihu with my two big girls are apparent. I don't know how clearly they see it. But the modern problem of behavior in synagogue being as demanded by God and community, extends far beyond my family. Here is an article discussing the problem at large and how we can only improve the situation if we change ourselves and model better decorum.

In addition to this, there is the idea that children should not be in a synagogue until they are at an age when they can really sit and understand the importance of the service. In our synagogue, and many others, there are youth groups to educate and occupy the children, during the main service. These groups are wonderful! But I personally struggle with the question of whether or not it prepares children for integration into actual synagogue services. When are children old enough to make that move?

Maybe your synagogue doesn't have a children's program, or maybe you choose not to participate. Here are some suggestions for making your time at Beit Kenneset more enjoyable for everyone. 

• Share your expectations:

Talk to your kids about synagogue. Explain that it is God's special house and how we must act there. Listen to their ideas about it. Make them mindful of all the other people who will be in shul as well. These conversations should happen way before Shabbat.

• Breakfast of Champions

There is an idea of 'Shabbat Cereal' a special sugar cereal on Shabbat morning which was not allowed the rest of the week. Yes, we should make Shabbat special in many ways. But an extra dose of sugar and artificial flavor, isn't going to improve anyone's behavior. They will get treats in kiddush and from the candy man.

• Shabbat Clothes

'The clothes make the man' especially on Shabbat. My girls have an entire section of the closet set aside for Shabbat. Each day they look at it longingly, thinking about Shabbat. Ruti understood this early on and before she was two she would often tug on the special dresses and says, "Soon! For Shabbat!"

A new 'reward' I created is that for good behavior on Friday night, my girls get to borrow a bracelet or necklace of mine. I choose which and we try on a few different ones, deciding which suits, but obviously the value of the jewelry plays a big role. [This is much easier thanks to my super organizational system] The girls are very proud to get to wear something so special on Shabbat. Dressed like princesses, act like princess in the King's house.

• Strategic Seating

Women always politely invite me to sit next to them, and there is an idea that I should have a place of honor at the front. Thank you, but I sit in the very back. There I have a wide space for the little girls to play in front of me, none of those flip-up chairs for the children to play with and trap a finger, and an easy escape route.

Think about where you sit from the stand-point of safety and comfort as well as neighbors. Don't sit near people who you know expect complete silence around them. It is unfair to disturb their time in synagogue and it will just stress you out.

• Special Toys

I vacillate between whether or not to bring toys from home to synagogue. They just get lost and cause fights. But if you are in a synagogue with no toys, peers, or groups for your child, they will need something when their attention span wanes. Last week another mother hung a baby toy from the siddur holder and it quietly entertained my infant for a good 15 minutes.

• Encourage Tefillah

Maybe this should be the first suggestion and not the last. We are in synagogue to pray and we need to teach our children that. It can be distracting for others because knowing the proper prayer and volume does not come naturally to little people. Yelling 'shema'during the kedusha is not appreciated by others. 
Encouraging them to look at the letters in the prayer book (how many 'alefs' are on this page) is one of the first steps to reading and understanding Hebrew. Trying to read the words on the page. Asking the children to think about some of the wonderful things Hashem helped them with this week. How do we say 'Thank you' to Him?
The real parts of tefillah, reading it, when we say what, and comfort in using a siddur are areas the big girls work on at school and home because it is too much to tackle in synagogue, when I am trying to pray.


Do you have any suggestions on encouraging proper behavior for children in synagogue? 

Shabbat Shalom!



[If you were looking for something more fun and interactive for a parasha project, shemini also explains laws of kashrut. Have fun cooking with your kids. Or have your child play this game or this one about kosher animals, while you do the Shabbat cooking.]

All fired up about Tzav

Parashat Tzav explains more about korbanot and describes the inauguration process for Aharon and his sons. More sacrifices! Yay! But I realized that although I am not riveted by this topic, I don't know if the girls understand it at all.

"What are korbanot?" I asked.
"Sacrifices," Cohava translated.
"Animals or flour or something you give to Hashem as a present," Gabi clarified.
"Exactly! How do you give them to Hashem?"
"You need the Mishkan or Beit Hamikdash," Cohava explained.
"And then you put them on the mizbeyach," Gabi added.
"And then what?"
"They shecht (slaughter) the animal," Gabi remarked.
"Then Aaron and the Kohanim make sure Hashem gets it," Cohava said. Suddenly I realized they might think that the Kohanim are like UPS for Hashem, delivering Amazon packages of Korbanot.

"Last week, we said that the korbanot produced a pleasing smell for Hashem. If I got some meat and slaughtered it and left it outside, would it smell nice?" They just stared at me, as the wheels turned.
"It would smell gross!" Gabi finally concluded.
"When I make meat for Shabbat it doesn't smell gross [that is a fact, not a question]. Why?"
"You cook it," Cohava stated the obvious.
"But the Kohanim didn't have an oven," Gabi interjected. 
"Very true. So if there is no oven, what was hot on the mizbeyach?"
"Fire!" Gabi cheered.
"That's right! Like a BBQ. Do you think the fires always burned the same?"
"Uh, no? Different things burn differently," Cohava replied.
"Like our leaves," Gabi added. It took me a minute to realize that she was referring to when we did this.
"Right, today we will see how fire can burn differently because of something near it."

Burning citrus oil.

I got a few different citrus fruits and peeled them. The girls ate the fruit. After warnings about fire safety, I lit our havdalah candle. Then I bent slices of peel with the colored part towards the flame. 

When the oils are excreted, the flame jumps. 

Different fruits reacted differently. 

 The girls each had a turn, but it was tricky for them to master. They enjoyed watching the flame and eating the fruit (daring each other to eat more limes). 

Here is a video of it, although, it is hard to see the flame jump. You will have to try it yourself.

(I thought we wouldn't have time for a project this week because we are busy getting ready for Purim. I also forgot that the Maftir is Zachor. The irony of forgetting the special section about remembering what the Amalakites did is not lost on me. Next year we will do something for Shabbat Zachor about remembering. I am writing it here so I don't forget. hee hee)

Pikudei Turn the Synagogue into the Mishkan

It has been a busy week, finishing the details of building the mishkan. Oh wait, that wasn't me. Bnai Yisrael has finished the mishkan in Parashat Pekudei. I was busy with other things. 

Not only does the week's Torah portion end the construction of the Tabernacle, it also completes Sefer Shemot. With Rosh Chodesh this week, it is definitely a time of completion and moving forward. By no coincidence, this week my husband and I are being welcomed into our new position as Rabbinic family at Sephardardic Bikur Holim. 

 What does the completion of the Mishkan mean? The relationship between the Jewish people and God is changing, as there is a now designated place to serve Him. In the mishkan, we are dwelling together, showing Hashem our devotion through sacrifice and ritual. Mishkan means dwelling and this is where Hashem dwells with us. 

But the word מִשְׁכַּן  Mishkan is also 'מי שכן', 'whose neighbor?' Just as this special house of God is for Him, one must be mindful of everyone in it. The people in the Mishkan are neighbors, they are a community, serving Him together. And being unkind, ignoring, or rude to one's neighbors, runs counter to the objective of working on a relationship with God. 

Sadly, we do not have the Mishkan, or the vessels from it today. It is replaced by synagogues. Synagogue is Greek for 'assembly'. Kal קהל and בית כנסת beit knesset, other words for our modern houses of prayer, have similar meanings. All are a group of people. 

The Mishkan was a building of incredible beauty, filled with the holiest artifacts. So are our synagogues! The Mishkan was the place for the most devout prayers. So are our synagogues! 

What is the difference between the Mishkan and the synagogue? The people truly regarded everyone around them as a neighbor. God dwelled in the Mishkan in a special way. Clearly this two elements are related.

When we regard everyone affiliated with our synagogue as a neighbor, we create the environment in which Hashem most wants to dwell. Are we a good neighbor to the people sitting near us? Did we warmly wish them a 'Shabbat Shalom' but still respect their prayers and space? Did we make sure that all of our neighbors have plans for lovely Shabbat meals? Did we make sure that our neighbors are well? When a neighbor has been away, have we asked after them? When someone is new to 'the neighborhood' how do we make them feel welcome?

We are not going to easily recreate the vessels or structure of the Mishkan. But every synagogue in the world should be working to replicate the ambiance of 'Whose neighbor?"


For this week's project the girls are working on actualizing this. For example, being kinder to all of the children at synagogue, not just their friends. We also did work on making a physical project.

At this site http://www.hochheimer.net/shira_classes/mishkan%20with%20labels.pdf there is a neat paper Mishkan building project.

But more important than the paper is the love that fills the building!

Shabbat Shalom!

Tetzave- Kohen clothes are sweet

Parashat Tetzaveh provides an in-depth look at the special clothing worn by the Kohanim. Last year we learned about their clothes and made Kohen paper dolls [see here]. I thought about further pursuing our organization theme and working to organize the clothes in their closet and drawers with an improved system. 


Instead I rewarded their good behavior with something entirely fun.

"What is your favorite piece of Kohen clothes?" I asked.
"The me'il. I like the rimon and bells, which make music whenever you walk," Gabi replied. [Gabi loved the paper dolls last year and thought about the clothes a lot. Once she told me, 'I dreamed I married a Kohen and he was very good as his job. He liked being a Kohen so much that he even slept in his special clothes. Except his migbat hat kept falling off in bed."] 
Cohava said, "The choshen with the pretty stones."
I explained to the girls that they weren't just pretty stones, and began to explain the Urim V'tumim but it is a deeply profound concept which either went over their heads or just seemed like an ipad. Either way they weren't overly impressed. 

What impressed them was the project. Edible Choshen!
I put up the image of the Choshen for them to see the colors. They each got a plate, knife, and graham cracker.

Tova started on her graham cracker right away, while the girls and I discussed the color of each stone on the Choshen.  Then I took out the massive container of Jelly Bellys that are on sale at Costco this month.


We carefully sorted to make sure the color of each jelly bean was as close as possible to the color of each stone. And we counted to twelve, over and over. Ruti practiced her colors. Cohava did some addition and subtraction. 

Gabi tried to stick the jelly beans on the plain graham cracker but Cohava knew to wait. I gave each girl a plastic knife with white icing on and then they diligently got to work.

I thought these special treats would be gone in a second but the girls (the bigger two) were too enthusiastic to eat their art.

They put the edible Choshen in their lunchboxes to show off at school. 

 If we were home this week for Shabbat meals, we would make a bunch of these for dessert.

Shabbat Shalom!

Watch your mouth! Tazria Metzora

Sorry for the long Pesach hiatus. One day I might post about our adventures, although I suspect parashat Tzav will never have a project.

This week is the double parshiot of Tazria and Metzora. They are read together during all non leap years (get ready for next year!) with the same topic dominating both: Tzaraat!  Tzaraat was a condition which appeared on the skin, clothing, or a house in response to a person's sin. It offered a physical manifestation so a person could witness the consequences of their actions.  Although the Torah does not state it explicitly in this parasha, lashon harah is considered one of the primary causes of Tzaraat.

Because Tzaraat is a challenging topic for children by itself, the connection to how we speak is an important tie in.

One day this week, Gabi complained about a rash on her leg.
"Gabi was speaking lashon hara. Now she has Tzaraat," Cohava announced.
"I think it is dry skin and she just needs some moisturizer," I countered.
"Nope, definitely tzaraat," Cohava argued.
Gabi stared at her leg. "It is red, not white. And you are not a Kohen. So I don't need to leave the house," she concluded. Amazingly, moisturizer cleared it up.

Explaining lashon hara to children is important, but not simple. We read Mr. Peabody's Apples by Madonna (yes, Madonna) which is a semi-modern take on the chassidic tale of opening the pillow. The illustrations are the best part of the book, but here you can hear the Material Girl reading her book.

The book is a good jumping off point of how we don't tell tales, true or otherwise, but barely scratches the surface of what lashon hara is really about. And one cannot get too involved in telling children about not speaking about others, without the important caveat of immediately reporting to an adult if someone touches you...

I was unsure of how thoroughly my girls understood lashon hara when I set off to create a parasha project.

 At K-Mart I found these toothbrush holders, which I decided were perfect. Big mouth, almost skin coloured, and only 20 cents each!

But I let the girls choose what to do with them.

"We could tape their mouths shut so they can't speak lashon hara," Cohava suggested.
"Or put things in their mouth," Gabi added. When they asked about the actual purpose of the containers and I demonstrated with toothbrush and paste, they wanted to maintain authenticity.

 Cohava decided hers would represent lashon hara, while Gabi chose lashon hatov.
They set to work with permanent markers. Cohava worked hard at making Tzaraat sores with a white-out pen and red stop signs. Gabi drew "happy pictures" all over hers.

They were proud of their results and discussed how they would remember not to speak lashon hara every morning and night when brushing teeth.

I still was unsure of how well they understood what is lashon hara. One day Gabi asked, "What are consequences?" so using a scenario we had seen involving other people, we discussed various consequences.
Gabi said, "Now I know what consequences are, but I think we are speaking lashon hara." She ran and got the new toothbrush holders and put them on the table.

If  you do not find these nifty holders at K-Mart, Cohava brought this home from school:

 Much simpler to make and also gets the point across.

Consequences! Eikev

In parashat Eikev Moshe explains consequences to the Jewish people in a number of different ways. The land of Israel will flourish if the Jewish people are good. Our success in military conquests is reliant on our being good to Hashem. The second paragraph of Shema is in the sixth aliyah, a clear statement of our need to serve Hashem and the consequences. Be good = good out comes. And the converse.

Last Shabbat I brought up the topic of consequences during my children's program. It went something like this:

Me: "I want to talk about a big word you might not know: consequences."

Gabe (3 year old boy) : "Uh-oh!"

Louis (his 5 year old brother): "Consequences means you are in trouble"

Gabe: "Big trouble!"

Me: "Not necessarily. Whenever you do something, it causes something else. What it causes is called a 'consequence'."

Gabe: "Consequences means no DS."

I tried to explain other contexts but it all fell on deaf ears.

Me "Consequences can be good."

Louis "Nope. Rewards are good. Consequences are bad."

So maybe I need to rethink the connotation of consequences in the eyes of children. But a child's innocence in understanding reward and punishment is something we should try to emulate. Although we do not know why 'bad things' happen, they are an opportunity to take stock of our behaviour.

The beginning of the parasha includes the mitzvah to say birkat hamazon.

Therefore this week's parsha project is making birkonim (bentchers). This is another one I consider of great enough importance and relevance to make the classroom curriculum. 

 

I modified the text of birkat hamazon, according to the abbreviated version we use in the classroom and added transliteration.  I like this opportunity to make it exactly how we thank  Hashem.  My home version, for my daughters, will be very different reflecting the unique way we do birkat hamazon at home. My husband's minhag is to say ashkenazi birkat hamazon followed by Bendigamos. And then the songs we like. Ours is still a work in progress but my students should be taking theirs home for Shabbat.

I printed the template (I'll try to upload it tomorrow) and set the kids to paint with a diluted food coloring. When those were dry, the children decorated the open parts by pasting on shapes. At lunch I took photos of them eating their bread. Tomorrow they will be laminated. 

Hopefully the consequence of this is children (and parents) taking more interest in birkat hamazon.

 I distributed the birkonim to the students at the end of lunch on Friday.  They were exuberant, singing louder than ever before. They enjoyed looking at the text (often upside-down) and exclaiming over letters they recognized. 

Gabi joined my class for lunch, so here is her in action:

 

Cohava came home on Friday with the perfect project. She had made a birkon holder!  The girls were very exciting about housing Gabi's project inside of Cohava's.