Back to the Beginning

I hope everyone is having a wonderful season of chagim. Sorry for the hiatus, but if there is ever a time to start something anew it is Simchat Torah and parashat Beresheit.

Beresheit is one parasha where everyone knows the story.  God creates the world, Adam and Eve sin and are banished from the Garden of Eden, and so on. 

I have taught the creation story many times, each time with a different project, posters, books, etc. My favorite was last year (which I missed blogging about). It was a box where each side was decorated with a picture of a different day of creation. Inside the box were candlesticks, a kiddush cup, and a challah cover.

As I said before, everyone knows the story but if you ask the average person, "What did God create on day three?" they are stumped. They will probably try to count on their fingers. And that leads us to this years project: Beresheit nails! This way, all week (more or less) my girls will be looking at an image which is on the corresponding digit.

There is a someone, Midrash Manicures, who already decorates nails for each parasha and blogs about it. But I am not a good nail artist, so that isn't for me. My plan was to use this very cool method of making your own nail decals. I collected a variety of images for each day. Unfortunately, I don't have a printer to try the process. :(

But I painted the girls nails white. 

Then I got the primary colors I used to for milk/meat/pareve in the kitchen and attempted to paint the first three days. Light looks like an omelet, but the girls know it is light and that is what counts.

 A blue stripe at the top and bottom of ring finger is for sky and water. 'Tall man' has a flower. But sun moon and stars is going to be really hard to free hand. Hopefully I will find a printer tomorrow. I made lots of those little images for a wide margin of error. If others try this, please let me know how it goes.

Fingers 1-7 are pretty self explanatory. The snake is for 8. Nine and ten are the Torah and the 'bet' for Beresheit.

Moadim B'Simcha!

Amen! Ki Tavo

There are many interesting things in Parashat Ki Tavo. Last year, we wrote the Torah on rocks.
This year Gabi wanted to make bikkurim, baskets of first fruits to bring to the Kohanim in the Beit Hamikdash.
"And the baskets will be beautiful, with sparkles. And everyone will be wearing purples keters [crowns]..." she began describing her plans. I love her enthusiasm! Making pretty baskets certainly avoids the very heavy tochecha, the rebuke described in the lengthy sixth aliyah.

But I wanted to teach the girls something which has a impact on their daily lives.
Every day we [should] make brachot. And whenever we hear a bracha we [should] say 'amen'. The word 'amen' is very significant. In the gemara (Brachot 53b), it says that answering 'amen' to a bracha is even greater than actually saying the bracha. Devarim Raba states that nothing is more precious to Hashem than the answering of amen. There was a book written a few years ago, Just One Word, with trues stories of the impact of saying amen, with an excerpt here.
We have know that 'amen' is important, but it is actually only in the Torah fourteen times. Twelve of those are in this weeks parasha. Those twelve times, the entire Jewish nation is uttering the word together. Pretty powerful.
I thought about making something for the project, like this:

It is pretty, made out of a spoon (connected to eating), you wear it and look at it...

But 'amen' needs to be a constant. Not just a pretty box for bikkurim once a year, or a nice bracelet you might misplace. A physical project does not do it justice.

The goal this week was a refresher in saying brachot nicely.

Before I eat or have another opportunity to make a bracha, I stop, concentrate, and make the bracha nicely and loud enough for everyone around to hear and say amen. This isn't something special for Ki Tavo. It should be a constant, but this parasha is serving as a reminder for me. When the girls do not say a bracha, I remind them by saying something like, "I am sad that I didn't get to say amen. Can you please give me the chance to say it?" And they appreciate it a lot more than, "Where is your bracha?"

Cohava likes to report at dinner how many brachot she made that day, and how many times she said 'amen'.

While I was explaining the importance of 'amen', Ruti began saying 'amen' over and over. I went to capture it on film but I was too late. So Cohava made up a bracha for Ruti to reply to. Ruti cannot make brachot yet, but is very enthusiastic about saying "amen!"

I'll get better at this video thing soon. :)

Shabbat Shalom!
[Amen!]

Send it away-Ki Tetzei

Parashat Ki Tetzei is chocked full of mitzvot. Some are things to stay far away from, like marrying a female POW, and some to keep close, like tzitzit. One that I have always found interesting is shiloach ha'ken, sending away the mother bird before taking her eggs. The Torah states that the reward to this is a long life. There is a great Torah debate as to why this reward is stated, and if it is for this world or the world to come. 
Without the great halachic debate, the message is still of universal importance. Everyone has feelings. Even animals. Try to avoid hurting feelings.

I had a baking project planned for this, but while at a children's museum, I was inspired by something which could be done in the classroom more easily. This is dedicated to everyone in Australia, where this parasha falls out during the school year.


On paper I free handed pictures of a bird, nest, and eggs and gave each picture to one of the girls to color in. With advance notice these would be printed from clip art and colored in.
 Each girl cut out her picture (Ruti had some help). And then a drinking straw was cut into one inch sections. Two straw pieces were taped to the back of the bird, parallel, about half an inch apart.

I taped to the wall the bird's nest with the eggs placed inside. 
On the wall were also two long lanyard strings, tried together. 
A piece of lanyard runs through each straw piece.

 Cohava pulled the strings apart and watched the bird 'fly' out of the nest. 

+

Gabi hurried and retrieved the eggs. 

 No birds, eggs, or feelings were hurt in the making of this parasha project.

Shabbat Shalom!

Shoftim - A real yarn

Parashat Shoftim is one of the parshiot where the subject matches the title. Most of the parasha deals with leadership; who, how, when, and what. Towards the end of the Torah reading there is the mitzvah of giving the first shearing of your sheep to the Kohanim. This does relate to spiritual leadership, but the theme of giving to Kohanim is not unique to this parasha. The wool given must be sufficient to make at least a small article of clothing. We can't all make ourselves great leaders of Israel (some of us must be the sheep) but we can all make something out of wool.
I planned to finger knit scarves with the girls for our project.

I had begun teaching them last month, but misplaced the yarn before we finished our scarves. I went to Target to buy more yarn, but they don't sell yarn :(. The week went by with no project :(.

On Sunday we went to my aunt and uncle's beach house. There were many lovely surprising waiting for us. One was cardboard weaving looms and yarn!!!
My aunt made a loom for each girl, equipt with beautiful thread and safety needles (definitely not from my Target)!
She left the instructions. We have our work cut out for us.













At the fair we saw the wool and the loom to turn in into yarn. The girls have tried that before.

Reeh Look here!

Parashat Reeh  begins with Hashem essentially explaining, "Look, you have a choice. And choices bring about cosequences..."
This is something the girls and I talk about all the time. This week Cohava suffered a 'no ice cream' consequence followed by her parents suffering severely in the consequence of a miserable kid. I wonder if   Hashem feels like this when we experience negative consequences...

We are in the US now, enjoying summer. Walking outside, I announced, "Look!" All around us are wild blackberries.
Gabi, thinking of pe'ah, shichecha, and leket, asked if they were only for poor people. I explained that we were allowed to eat it, but there is another agricultural law they should know.
"In Israel, in addition to saving food for the poor, some food must be saved for the Kohanim. It is put to the side, with a bracha, and called Terumot and Maasrot."
"Like taking challah?" they asked.
"Exactly! But if we pick blackberries now, we don't have to do it."
"Why not?!?"
"We are in America. We were in Australia. And before that we were in Israel. Only in Israel is food saved for the Kohanim. The fruits of Israel are most special than any other fruits in the world."
"Wow," said Cohava. Gabi began reciting the seven species in Hebrew. Then everyone started picking blackberries.

 The problem with picking blackberries is that you cannot eat them right away because of potential bug infestations. 

At home, with our bags of berries, I got ziplock bags. In each bag I put some of the berries and then double bagged it. (Important for fighting the potential berry explosion).

Then the girls set to work mashing berries. This could obviously be done in a blender, but it was a lot more fun for them this way.

 I loaded the berries into a pitcher and added 1/3 c of sugar.  The sugar could easily be omitted. 

 Then we stirred the compound.

To get rid of the bug problem, we froze the compound. Then I cut some peaches and we poured water over the berry glop to make berry juice. Berry peach juice was good. 

Later we tried it by mixing the frozen compound with apple juice. It was even more delicious. If we were in Israel we would share it with the Kohanim.

Shabbat Shalom!

Loving the 17 Tammuz/3 weeks/9Days/Tisha B'Av

We are in the most dreaded time on the Jewish calendar. During the three weeks and reaching an apex on Tisha b'Av there are many prohibitions as we mourn the destruction of the Temple. 

Let's be honest. How many people really mourn the Temple? Of course we want mashiach and the Third Temple. But do you really miss the Beit Hamikdash and the korbanot? Can you even relate to the building destroyed two thousand years ago? Most people go through the motions of mourning rituals, but who really feels the right emotions? And if adults struggle, how can we pass the significance to children?

Let's start with the 17th of Tammuz, the beginning of the mourning period. The mishna recounts five events on this day:

1. Moses broke the two tablets of stone after seeing the golden calf
2. The daily tamid offering ceased to be brought
3. The walls of Jerusalem were breached (proceeding to the destruction of the Temple)
4. Prior to Bar Kokhba's revolt, Roman military leader Apostomus burned a Torah scroll
5. An idol was erected in the Temple.

Ironically, it is the first, the one which occurred furthest away from my lifetime, which fills me with the most visceral feeling of loss and mourning.  Because it means the most to me, it is the area I would most focus on with children. It is a story they are likely to know, but when told with emotion, they will also feel guilty about the golden calf and the consequences.  
But my children do not focus on the historical components of the day. They just want to fast like grown-ups.

The 17th of Tammuz starts the Three Weeks of mourning. In this time, weddings, haircuts, music, and public entertainment are prohibited. Who is effected by these prohibitions? They are similar to the prohibitions in the omer, so the gravity of the situation at this time isn't felt as harshly. 

Rosh Chodesh Av starts 'The Nine Days. As it says in the Gemara, when we enter Av our happiness is reduced. This is in direct contrast to Adar, when our happiness is increased. Children (everyone) knows when Adar is starting, with singing and excited anticipation of Purim. For Av more prohibitions begin:

• Home improvements, painting and new construction
• Planting trees, flowers or grass
• Laundering clothes, towels, tablecloths and bed linens
• Wearing new or freshly laundered clothing
• Making or buying new clothes, towels, tablecloths and bed linens
• Eating meat or poultry
• Drinking wine or grape juice
• Bathing for pleasure
• Swimming for health or exercise

These prohibitions are felt much more by everyone. Everyone is asking about menu ideas when meat is forbidden. I find it ironic that the people who are most disturbed by it are the same people who love the dairy on Shavuot.

For Sephardim, many of these prohibitions do not begin until "shavuah she chal bo', the motzei Shabbat before Tisha b'Av. Most still refrain from meat and wine throughout the nine days.

The prohibition on meat and wine is to remind us that animal sacrifices and wine libation offerings ended. But the main objective of these prohibitions is to reduce our happiness. I think something on this list (and the previous one) saddens everyone. Many people go a bit mad without meat and alcohol. I miss retail therapy and hot showers. And the laundry after Tisha B'Av can be horrendous! 

During our moaning about the restrictions are we thinking about the Temple? Confession: I am not.

By Tisha B'Av, I might be. 
Now, in addition to all the other restrictions, we add:

1. No eating or drinking;
2. No washing or bathing;
3. No application of creams or oils;
4. No wearing of leather shoes;
5. No marital relations.
6. No greeting others.
7. Less comfortable sleeping
8. No learning most Torah
9. No sitting on chairs (until midday)

After the seudah mafseket, sitting on the floor reading kinnot by candlelight, I am finally mourning the tragedies of Jewish history. Are the three weeks meant to bring me to this one apex of emotion? What if I don't achieve it?

My theory is as follows:

Our sages have taught (Talmud, Yoma 9b) that the first Temple was destroyed because of the following three things: sexual immorality, widespread murder and idolatry. Hopefully, you aren't guilty of any of these. Thankfully I know I am free of these sins. 

The second Temple, however, the sages taught, was destroyed because of one singular reason: baseless hatred (sinat chinam). It is harder to claim innocence here. What exactly is hatred? What is baseless? Debating this can be splitting hairs. 

But the opposite, baseless love (ahavat chinam), is easier to grapple with. Or at least, love (with a base) is tangible and very relevant. And this love is the antidote to the destruction we mourn during the Three Weeks. Love? That is the solution to all the pain in the world? That should be easy! I love! I love myself, my spouse, my kids, my friends...

First of all, those loves aren't baseless. Second, do you love them as much as you could? Let's have another look at some of these prohibitions and how they relate to our love.

Music. I enjoy listening to music. In the car, I like to play the radio during school drop-off and pick-up. I listen to the music instead of listening to the children. Turn off music, turn on sweet voices and ideas of my children. 

Music is only one of the prohibitions of the three weeks, but it sets the stage for detaching from our distractions and working towards that ideal love.

During the 9 Days, I am not busy doing laundry, gardening, shopping, or relaxing in the shower. I am 'free'. And this free time needs to be spent loving. Loving my family, calling friends to connect, doing chesed to share love with others. 

And then comes the dreaded ninth of Av. Now there are so many prohibitions! I am hungry and thirsty, I got a poor night sleep, my feet hurt, and I feel dirty. Here is the real test! We can't even say hello, but we need to show love and patience. I have a household of screaming kids! How can I do it? 

Somehow we need to do it! No one is perfect, but now is the time to try to elevate your behavior. 

The feeling of Yom Kippur and Tisha B'Av are very different. Yom Kippur is a solemn day, but not a sad one. Tisha b'Av is the saddest day of the year. 

But there are many similarities. Just like many prohibitions of the day are similar, so to is the period leading up to it. Yom Kippur is preceded by Rosh Hashana and the Ten Days of Repentance. In this time we are working on self-improvement and taking stock of our behavior.

Do you really use all 10 Days of Repentance to repent? Do you procrastinate those feelings and then work really hard right before Yom Kippur? The Sephardi practice of only keeping the week leading up to Tisha b'Av follows this mentality. We don't need nine days of wallowing in dirty clothes. The week before is sufficient time to feel the mourning to this caliber. This is just another example of Sephardim being 'lenient' in their understanding of the human psyche. 

No matter what minhagim are kept during what time period, the objective should be the same. Love! Get rid of the distractions and just show love. According to the gemara, Mashiach will be born on Tisha b'Av. Of course! His birth and coming will be created by the love we show each other, in spite of our own desires, needs, and distractions.

Now, hopefully I have made this period more relevant to you. How will we make it more relevant to our children?

Last year the children were superheroes for the three weeks.  I highly recommend this very successful approach. You can have a frank conversation about love in the three weeks, and expressing goodness for everyone around us.

But Tisha b'Av itself is very hard. My girls were very good last year. This year I need to raise the bar. Cohava is 6 but has an idea that fasting is very cool and is desperate to try. Obviously we won't let her. But we told her 1) she can fast from the start of the fast until a late breakfast. 2) She will only be eating bread, water, and vegetables.

Modified sleeping arrangement usually means fewer pillows. We told the girls it would be fewer stuffed animals in bed. They were truly mournful. 

Have a loving, easy, and meaningful fast. May our efforts bring Mashiach this week.

Devarim Digital Diaries

Parashat Devarim recounts the sojournings and (mis)deeds of bnei Yisrael in the wilderness. Last year for parashat Devarim we made Devarim Diaries. The girls cut and pasted pictures of themselves and we talked about what happened in the various photos. Since I really enjoy documenting and reflecting with the girls, this year's project follows the same theme. But this time we are doing it in the 21st century. With our ipad, I took video of the girls reflecting on their year and life in Australia. Sadly, youtube is taking forever to upload the videos. Soon the shortest video, about our house, should be here. After Shabbat I will try to include more.
Shabbat Shalom!