Vayigash- Say it before you go!

The ultimate resolution and denouement occur in this week's perasha.  It is all very happily ever after (for a little while) but there is a dearth of perasha projects on Vayigash.

I looked at Yaakov's preparation to leave Israel for Egypt. He brings a sacrifice and then has a conversation with Hashem.  I connected this with Tefilat Ha'derech, the prayer we say before travel.

In school we talked about travel. We played, "I'm going to Mitzrayim and in my suitcase I packed...". The kids really enjoyed it. Then they voted on how they thought Yaakov and his family traveled to Egypt. They were disappointed that 'car' was incorrect.

In pre-school, 3rd grade, and at home, we made tefilat hadrech cards/key chains! (And talked about sacrifices not being allowed on airplanes).

On the back they glued a poem I wrote

"Before I travel a long way
I take a moment to stop and pray
Like Yaakov, when he went away
Tefilat Haderech is what I say"

1) Cut out words and glue to cardstock ( I found pre-cut ovals).
2)Decorate paper.
3)Poke hole in top and laminate.

4) String beads onto a zip tie. (I love zip tie beading, like we did here for Vayetzei)

 Tada

 Rocking it, with Tefilat Hederech on my handbag!

My initial plan was to focus on the social emotional pieces, as they are more intense than anything we generally face. I read some blogs about the best way to say 'I'm sorry', and made an action plan. I gathered the family, and the whole plan collapsed with too many emotional pieces for me to contain! The little girls stayed and made these, but the concept was too hard for them.  (Sometimes people ask me how I come up with so many great ideas. Sometimes I come up with great ideas that just don't work out,)

May Hashem help keep our failures small, our successes huge, at home and on journeys!

 This was a neat image puzzle that spelled out 'Tell the Truth" we pretended it was hieroglyphics. When I find the link I'll share it.

Using Love to Decontaminating the House: Pesach & Parashat Metzora

Parashat Metzora is a continuation on last week's tzara'at in Parashat Tazria. The horrible spiritual skin condition can also contaminate the actual structure of your house. And if this happens:

Vayikra 14:41. And he shall scrape out the house from the inside, all around, and they shall pour out the [mortar] dust from what they scraped, outside the city, into an unclean place.

We might not have tzara'at today, but this time of year some people go almost to such extremes, and not for the sake of a "parasha project". Ah the joy of Pesach cleaning! 

Here is a secret: I HATE CLEANING! 

Ok, maybe it is not a secret. But I do try to underplay my dislike for this task. Why? Why would I keep my hatred for cleaning a secret?

Because I don't want my kids to hate cleaning. 

Children pick up on our likes and dislikes, even if we don't verbalize them. 

Often when I get off the phone, the girls will say, "How is so-and-so?" 
"How did you know who I was talking to?" I ask, surprised. Their reasons include my tone, facial expression, phrases used, and topics discussed. 

Children observe everything. If I complain excessively about cleaning, there is no hope of me successfully encouraging them to do it. Then everyone will feel justified in their hatred for cleaning and no one will do it.

This extends to pretty much everything. If I complain to or in front of my kids about going to synagogue, cooking for shabbat, another person, or any religious practice, they will also think negatively of it. 

As I mentioned last week and last year, rabbinic tradition connects tzara'at with lashon hara. Something consumes your body and even your house, as a consequence of 'negative speech.' Guarding your tongue, thinking carefully about what you say, is crucial in preventing tzara'at, a physical/spiritual condition. We don't have tzara'at today, but careless speech causes educational/emotional/social (and spiritual) consequences. 

I still hate cleaning for Pesach! 
I can't smile and scrub at the same time! And I can't lie about it. 
I frame it and balance it. 

Framing it means saying things like: 
"I don't like everything about cleaning, but I love having a clean house!" 
"Cleaning the whole house is going to be a lot of work! I am so glad I have such good helpers!" 
"The cleaning can feel like a lot of work. Can you imagine what it was like to be a slave in mitzrayim?"
"Cleaning is not my favorite part of Pesach. _________ is. What is your favorite part?"

Keeping the bad attitude at bay for the kid's sake, will also keep it away for your sake.  Armed with a baby wipe, small broom or rag, toddlers love to 'help'. Or you can try even younger.






Balancing:
In my preschool group and later at home, the children had art time to make signs. Taking a break from cleaning to do something relaxing and enjoyable is crucial. 

Print, color in, laminate (optional), and the children are thrilled to put one on a completed room. They take pride walking past it, 'I made the sign, AND I helped get that room ready for Pesach. Oh! And I can't bring this cracker in.'

If you had spare time for a parasha project this week, the signs could easily be altered to "This Room is Tzara'at Free."

This really is just a cleaning break. You can even see the vacuum in the foreground. 

And now back to my not-so-favorite activity...


Shabbat Shalom!

Watch your mouth! Tazria Metzora

Sorry for the long Pesach hiatus. One day I might post about our adventures, although I suspect parashat Tzav will never have a project.

This week is the double parshiot of Tazria and Metzora. They are read together during all non leap years (get ready for next year!) with the same topic dominating both: Tzaraat!  Tzaraat was a condition which appeared on the skin, clothing, or a house in response to a person's sin. It offered a physical manifestation so a person could witness the consequences of their actions.  Although the Torah does not state it explicitly in this parasha, lashon harah is considered one of the primary causes of Tzaraat.

Because Tzaraat is a challenging topic for children by itself, the connection to how we speak is an important tie in.

One day this week, Gabi complained about a rash on her leg.
"Gabi was speaking lashon hara. Now she has Tzaraat," Cohava announced.
"I think it is dry skin and she just needs some moisturizer," I countered.
"Nope, definitely tzaraat," Cohava argued.
Gabi stared at her leg. "It is red, not white. And you are not a Kohen. So I don't need to leave the house," she concluded. Amazingly, moisturizer cleared it up.

Explaining lashon hara to children is important, but not simple. We read Mr. Peabody's Apples by Madonna (yes, Madonna) which is a semi-modern take on the chassidic tale of opening the pillow. The illustrations are the best part of the book, but here you can hear the Material Girl reading her book.

The book is a good jumping off point of how we don't tell tales, true or otherwise, but barely scratches the surface of what lashon hara is really about. And one cannot get too involved in telling children about not speaking about others, without the important caveat of immediately reporting to an adult if someone touches you...

I was unsure of how thoroughly my girls understood lashon hara when I set off to create a parasha project.

 At K-Mart I found these toothbrush holders, which I decided were perfect. Big mouth, almost skin coloured, and only 20 cents each!

But I let the girls choose what to do with them.

"We could tape their mouths shut so they can't speak lashon hara," Cohava suggested.
"Or put things in their mouth," Gabi added. When they asked about the actual purpose of the containers and I demonstrated with toothbrush and paste, they wanted to maintain authenticity.

 Cohava decided hers would represent lashon hara, while Gabi chose lashon hatov.
They set to work with permanent markers. Cohava worked hard at making Tzaraat sores with a white-out pen and red stop signs. Gabi drew "happy pictures" all over hers.

They were proud of their results and discussed how they would remember not to speak lashon hara every morning and night when brushing teeth.

I still was unsure of how well they understood what is lashon hara. One day Gabi asked, "What are consequences?" so using a scenario we had seen involving other people, we discussed various consequences.
Gabi said, "Now I know what consequences are, but I think we are speaking lashon hara." She ran and got the new toothbrush holders and put them on the table.

If  you do not find these nifty holders at K-Mart, Cohava brought this home from school:

 Much simpler to make and also gets the point across.